The Daily Drop: VegasComics.com Scientists Resurrect Prehistoric Comics Using Golden and Silver Age DNA
VegasComics.com Scientists Resurrect Prehistoric Comics Using Golden and Silver Age DNA
Las Vegas, NV – April 1, 2025
In a groundbreaking yet utterly ridiculous experiment, scientists at VegasComics.com have announced the successful recreation of prehistoric “Jurassic Park Comics” by extracting DNA from Golden and Silver Age comic books. The team, led by eccentric comicologist Dr. Stan Lee-Zard, claims they’ve spliced the genetic material of 1940s Superman panels and 1960s Spider-Man quips to bring extinct comic species back to life.
“We found perfectly preserved ink samples in a rare copy of *Action Comics #1* and a slightly chewed *Amazing Fantasy #15*,” Dr. Lee-Zard explained, adjusting his cape-shaped lab coat. “Using advanced comic-sequencing technology, we’ve birthed a hybrid: *Tyrannosaurus Rex-Men*—a 50-foot mutant with adamantium claws and a penchant for one-liners.”
The project, dubbed “Jurassic Pulp,” aims to populate a Las Vegas theme park with living, breathing comic characters. Early successes include a velociraptor sporting a Green Lantern ring and a pterodactyl reciting *Tales from the Crypt* in iambic pentameter. However, not all experiments have gone smoothly. A rogue *Hulkasaurus* reportedly smashed a slot machine after being denied a buffet pass, growling, “Hulk hungry for ink AND shrimp!”
Critics warn of ethical dilemmas. “These comics were extinct for a reason,” argued Professor Marv Wolfman of UNLV’s Pop Culture Department. “Do we really need a *Brontosaurus Batman* brooding over Gotham’s primordial swamps?” PETA has also protested, claiming the resurrected *Captain Caveman* deserves better than a cage next to the Bellagio fountains.
VegasComics.com plans to open “Jurassic Pulp Park” next summer, with tickets priced at $99.99 or three pristine *X-Men #1* issues. Dr. Lee-Zard remains optimistic: “Life, uh, finds a way—to sell merchandise.” Meanwhile, locals report hearing a faint “THWIP!” echoing from the desert, suggesting Spider-Raptor is already on the loose.