The Daily Drop: Venom Un-Retires, Announces Residency at Las Vegas Gentlemen's Club

HE’S BACK! Venom Un-Retires, Announces Residency” at ‘The Slippery Spider,’ “This is my last, last dance”

Breaking News: In a stunning career pivot that has left entertainment insiders both horrified and strangely aroused, the amorphous alien symbiote known as Venom has announced a limited-time residency at Las Vegas’s newest gentlemen’s club, “The Slippery Spider.”

The alien menace, apparently bored of chomping on Spider-Man and brooding in dark alleys, has traded his web-slinging woes for a gig at the Spider-Themed Strip Club—and he’s leaving Sin City in a state of gooey chaos.

Witnesses report that Venom’s act, which includes pole-dancing with all eight of his tendrils, crooning Marvin Gaye covers with that gravelly growl, and using his 12-foot tongue to snatch tips from midair, has packed the house every night. ‘I went in for a $5 lap dance and left with my wallet empty and a newfound fear of jazz hands,’ said dazed tourist Greg Pembleton, 42 of Cincinnati. ‘He hissed ‘We are Venom’ and then ate my complimentary shrimp cocktail. Five stars.’ Customers can’t stop throwing cash—or themselves—at the stage, with some even begging to be ‘lightly possessed’ as part of the VIP package. “He took my wallet, my car keys, and my dignity,” one visibly shaken customer recounted, “but honestly? It was kind of… mesmerizing.”

Local dancers, however, are staging a glitter-dusted revolt. ‘This is an outrage,’ sobbed veteran performer The Dazzler, 26, wiping mascara-streaked tears outside the club. ‘I’ve got a mortgage and a kid in tap dance school—I can’t compete with a guy who can ooze through dollar bills, dirty dance, and bench-press the bouncer during the slow songs!’ Another dancer, stage name Emma Frost, added, “he doesn’t even need the money!”

Insiders whisper he’s already planning a grand finale involving a choreographed number with Celine Dion’s hologram and a dramatic exit through a portal made of slot machine winnings. Tickets are $149.99 and spots are limited so act fast!